


Shepard's Shorts

by thedas_scribe (wshall)



Series: Shepard's Shorts [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Awkward Garrus Vakarian, In the gutter, Normandy SR1, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10853820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wshall/pseuds/thedas_scribe
Summary: The flagship piece for the Shepard's Shorts series:Marley Shepard's shorts instigate shenanigans for her squad and crew.





	Shepard's Shorts

"Shepard?" Garrus approached his usual spot on the Normandy with dire caution. I know what he was thinking, and to this day, nobody within an earshot of the conversation could convince me otherwise. "Shepard?"

I was squatting almost ass-to-grass (if the floor of the SR1 was grass) as I tested the air pressure in each of the MAKO's humongous tires. "According to my scanner, all tires are exactly fifteen percent less pressure than standard, which will work perfect for our drop on Proteus. I think the Mako will --" I observed the concerned expression on the Turian's face, which colored my own with confusion. "What?" 

Ashley began snickering, and Wrex followed suit with his own low-pitched cackle. 

"What is it?" I stood up to face Garrus, as his expression was really disconcerting, and he deflated with relief.

"Oh, ok. Um," he looked down and to his left, shaking his head slightly. "Never mind."

I twisted toward Wrex. "What is it? What's going on?"

After a pause, Ashley finally responded, "fine, when you were squatting, it looked like you only had your chaps on. And the way you were squatting..."

"Ohhhh," I turned back toward Garrus and said, "so your mind went straight into the gutter."

If only Turians could blush. "Nnnooo...I...just --"

"You did go there, Garrus. I could see it in your eyes, heh heh heh." Wrex stomped once, or maybe just side-stepped, but his foot made a decisive pound noise. "I was there, too. We had drinks and you didn't even know it."

"Guys!" I was probably as red as the stripe on my armor. "What the hell? You mean to say that you thought I ONLY had my chaps on?" I spat. "I'm wearing shorts, thankyouverymuch." I squatted at the same tire, once again, but this time I emphasized the distance between my knees. 

"I'm going up to mess," Ashley declared. "This is too much for me, right now."

"HA! Save me a plate," Wrex called. 

I stood back up to find Garrus still standing there, his posture giving off the impression that he felt as forlorn as a wet puppy in the rain. "I really didn't mean anything by that."

"You couldn't see my shorts. If I had your perspective and someone else were in my place, I'd probably make a witty and dirty comment." I started for the elevator. "I think it's commendable that you didn't say something crude, because I know I probably would have."

"Shepard, I --"

"Thanks, Garrus." I winked at him and headed for the elevator. "I hear we have dextro chocolate in the fridge. Come up when you're ready."


End file.
